The coming out process is a very stressful time for any member of the LGBTQIA+. It’s almost as if they are giving a license to everyone around them to judge them. At a time like this it is important to show your support and reassurance. You can do so in the following ways: Listen to them. A lot of support during the coming – out process should center around letting them express how they’re feeling and what their experience is like. You can help support your friends by not having made any assumptions about their sexuality or gender status, which will make you better prepared if they tell you about their identity. Acknowledge the risk they took by coming out to you. Compliment their courage. Don’t minimize the importance of what they did, instead say,” Thank you for trusting me” or say,” It doesn’t change how I feel about you” or admit that it might change things in a positive way. If you are comfortable with it offer a hug or some show of support. Be respectful of them and their trust. Keep their confidence and respect their privacy. A person who is coming out may have a hard time talking about it. Don’t force them to disclose anything they aren’t comfortable talking about. Remember to keep your social boundaries in check. Don’t make jokes about it. Don’t over-react or make it about you. This is also not the time to be upset with them about not telling you earlier or acting smug about the fact that you have known for the past five years. Your timely duration of your friendship is irrelevant if you can’t provide them with what they need at this time. As much as there is helpful information out there, there is also misinformation, misrepresentation and stereotypes. This may be cause for confusion. Don’t impose your thoughts and opinions regarding their identity on them. An open mind is key. Remember that the person coming out always knows their identity best and you don’t have to understand it to accept and respect it. Validate their identity by using the terminology or pronouns they choose or prefer. Offer resources (ONLY IF THEY ASK FOR THEM). If they seem to be struggling, have some resources on hand ― LGBTQ + collectives, helplines, online support communities or even TV shows ― that they might appreciate. Use your judgement on this one and don’t force a pamphlet down their throat. Remember that everyone is different! How important someone’s sexuality is to them varies on their own outlook on it, their lives and their other identities – which might matter more or play a part in how they understand their sexuality. Everyone wears their identity differently. Your priority in such moments should be to make them feel safe, accepted and loved. Focus on that rather than trying to be “cool about it".